So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
