i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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