She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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