Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have peed in a lot of sinks
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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