Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
