so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
