yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
