just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
