No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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