theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She's the barista slut.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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