We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
