he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
