Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
