He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
