I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
