the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
