Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize