Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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