and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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