so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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