This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
