We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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