Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
