I feel like abortions should bother me more
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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