David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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