sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
