Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Randomize
