Who wears a wallet chain?!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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