Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
