Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
