Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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