i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
