I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
