That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
