Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We are two peas in an std pod
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
