Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
