1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
