You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
