I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
