Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
