Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
