i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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