he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
