What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
