Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
