the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
