My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
