i love accidental penises.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you didnt know i had herpes?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
