The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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