You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I could make wine with my vomit
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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