Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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