is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
