i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
