Whatcha textin bout Willis?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
