Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My day in three words: secret purse cake
BRING THE BAGELS
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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