so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
