Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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