porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
