Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
