end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize