my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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