There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
