Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
