Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
