I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
